marina goldshteyn

"Well these days I'm spread so thin I'm getting carried up by the wind Every time you get high You might see me floating by"
-devendra banhart

i feel more and more away everyday. im trying to grow, im trying to live. my body is a cage and my mind is a field. i want to open up a large blanket in an empty grassy scape and sleep with the sun waking up my freckles and knowing in my head that im not alone. its hard to tell what people want from me. i get these vibrations that im not wanted, im just a laugh. so many decisions scare me and my heart is beating faster and pumping harder just to deal with the anxiety i put on myself. when i am on my own im becoming the night owl i have envied in so many. the sun will be blanket as i sleep during the day and moon will be my source of energy. i want to please you, and you, and you, and you. im second place. i dont understand how i have so much ahead of me but its so busy i cant even see where im going. some people will never know who i am. i would never bare that burden on any new person. listen, listen, listen, listen. thats what you have to do. world hug me its beautiful to be loved.